What’s remarkable isn’t the persistence of lip-balm conspiracy theories, but how common this line of thinking is. All sorts of industries are dogged by self-proclaimed junkies who blame nefarious manufacturer plots. Diet-soda drinkers say artificial sweeteners trigger a vicious cycle of carb cravings. The Internet is full of people who say deodorant makes them smellier and moisturizer dries their skin. Then there’s the growing “no ’poo” movement embraced by those who say shampoo sends our oil glands into hyperdrive. (The same idea occurred to me when I noticed that my dog, Louis, has clean, shiny fur despite his refusal to bathe; my own dalliance with the shampoo-free lifestyle lasted just six days.)
Maybe it’s the economy. When money’s tight, pricey personal-care products start looking like problems rather than solutions. And it’s hard to resist the idea that we can achieve perfection simply by reclaiming our natural, pre-CVS selves. But I honestly can’t quit the lip balm. Can you really get hooked? Carma Laboratories’ Woelbing, who reapplies up to eight times a day (for testing purposes, of course), says it’s impossible. Our lips don’t get worse when we stop using, he says; they just revert to their natural state, and when the air is dry, “that might be a little painful.” Dermatologists say he’s right—sort of. With overuse, the camphor and menthol in medicated balms can dry the lips, while ingredients like beeswax spur an allergic reaction in a small percent of the population. But that doesn’t equal a physiological dependency.
In fact, the folks at Blistex conduct focus groups on heavy users and have discovered they have something in common: They describe themselves as fidgety people who need a security blanket. “These are the pencil chewers and finger drummers who need something in their hands,” says Blistex President Mike Donnantuono. “They’re using it psychologically.” He has a point. While we love to blame our dependencies on evil conspiracies, it’s usually the compulsive lotion users, the hygiene freaks and the orally fixated soda guzzlers who develop a problem. At least my habit is cheap. As Donnantuono puts it, “For a couple bucks, you get to feel better.” That’s a statement any lip balm addict can appreciate.
